Sticks and Stones

As children, we were taught the phrase. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. In actuality, words are used as weapons every single day to destroy. But they can also heal. Because faith comes by hearing — and by reading.

In writing, I have learned the art of intentionality. Every choice, every word, every action bears tremendous weight and influence. I like to think of it this way…. we all carry a bag of stones. Each stone represents something. A story. A truth. A lie born from our own experience. Some stones we were handed. Some we picked up ourselves. Some we didn’t even realize we were carrying until the weight of them slowed us down.And if we are all influential — and we are — then we have a responsibility to steward what’s in that bag. To know our stones. To examine them. Because what we carry, we eventually throw.

Sharp. Smooth. Shiny. Jagged. Each stone can either weigh us down in defeat, or we can build strength as we carry them.

Resistance training for the soul.

What we do with each stone mirrors our heart.

As a man thinks, so he is.The message our stones carry - and the force with which we reach into that bag and toss, or throw produces ripples powerful enough to change the trajectory of a generation. Maybe two. How deep will that disturbance go? Will we build up, encourage, bear witness to beauty? Or will our stones ripple out accusations- sometimes unintentionally, sometimes with purpose to damage?

We bear responsibility for how we throw. Toss one carelessly in a put-down, a sarcasm, a joke at someone else’s expense — you’ve made a ripple. Offer a gentle word of kindness — a different ripple takes form entirely.

There is a character in the Bible I have long resonated with. His life, like mine, is full of mishaps, poor decisions, severe consequences. The beauty of his story is that God called him a man after His own heart. This mess of a human, in many respects, still carried the heart of God.

I find that deeply comforting.

Before he was King of Israel, David was the overlooked one. Perceived as illegitimate, misfit, forgotten. A young shepherd boy with a sling and a bag of stones, surrounded by bullies, with nothing to offer an oppressed people…except resilience.Then came the giant. How did this small warrior, unable to even wear the oversized armor, bring down a terrorizing giant? With a song in his heart, a prayer on his tongue, and a battle cry of praise in the name of the Lord, he reached into his bag and pulled out one small stone. That stone, perhaps mirroring his steadfast heart, was hurled mid-worship. And the giant fell.

How did David do that?

My guess is that he knew who he was. His identity wasn’t built on the lies surrounding him, but it was secured in the Rock. The Stone. The one and only Lover of our souls. He silenced the warring accusations and listened instead to the still, calm truth in his soul. Truths that didn’t begin with you are. They begin with I AM.

Jesus had some stones and a stick too.

Did you know that?

There’s a story about it.

You know the story?

The woman caught in the very act of adultery?

The religious men dragged her to Jesus, stones already in hand. Shouting accusations. Seething with self-righteous piety. Challenging this Son of Man to follow their law and start the ritual of stoning her for her transgressions. Terrified, she fell to his feet. Each one of their own stones a mirror of their own hearts. I have been that woman. Face in the dirt. Hearing every shout and accusation. More than once. And if I’m honest, many of those accusations have come from my own accusing voice. That is what toxic shame does.

It was then that Jesus took a stick and wrote in the sand. What he wrote remains a mystery. Perhaps he listed the offenses of the ones holding the stones right there in the dirt for everyone to see. That makes me smile to think about. What did they do then, stones still warm in their hands?I know what Jesus did. He stood and offered one of them the opportunity. Just one….to throw. And they walked away. Every last one. Because Jesus, the Stone the builders rejected, did not hurl accusation. He extended grace. With a stick and a stone, he offered kindness, love, forgiveness.

I return now to David, the misfit who defeated a bully with a stone, calling on the name of the Lord.

The mirror of his heart. David, with his stone, defeated the giant because of how he stewarded his stones.

And so now, reader, you are faced with a choice.

How do you steward your stones?

How do you WANT to steward your stones?

Like David?

Like the religious leaders?

Rigid or Grace?

What will you do with your stones?

I choose kindness. I choose love. I choose forgiveness with my stones. And with my stick, I write.

Your stones?

Do they mirror your heart?

And if they don’t, what will you do with them? You carry the power to change generations. Either way.

With so much Love and Grace,

Shelli